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Photo Credit: Callie Biggerstaff

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Throwin money at problems like they’re a shitty child and I’m an even shittier parent but I don’t know what else to do right now. If ya got it, maybe move it into some good hands.

Oh and this isn’t a forum. If you comment with some “but actually” stuff I’m going to delete it. We’re not debating here. Go to reddit.
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Hey society is crumbling and I weirdly feel a little okay with it. Good run but too many people peed in the punch bowl and it’s time to shut it down. Anyway, this Wild West theater critic went on a bike ride today.
#puntersthompson
#smellsangels
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This ride sucked. My Chesters got real sticky.
#lasucksforcycling #isuckatcycling #likeawitchridingaleafblower
#testtubetitties
#sorryicroppedoutyourbikekevin
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listen at the link in my story ...

I get that some celebrities can get anxious in social settings so I kept my distance from @officialquincyjones ...

It is with much sadness and defeat that I let you all know...
I’m on tiktok.
Please lip sync my bits on there if you got big clown tiddies or a fake ass.
#theworldisoveranyway
#shamewentextinctyearsago
#LEDscreenswillreplaceheadstones
#thecloudisthenewinvincibility
#kloekardashian
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listen at the link in my story ...

It was once a very fun place to hang out but now it’s filled with roaches and rats. ...

Go on a bike ride. Check out goofy stuff. ...

I thought using my finger to apply this lip bam was a bit unsanitary so I made super tiny kissy lips and pressed my mouth into the jar. Long story short I swallowed some Blistex and now I don’t feel good ...

Light reading for my 43yo ass. Aaron Cometbus, lamenting the lack of flight attendants pointing out the emergency exits on DIY Airlines. ...

@kylekinane shares a crazy story about our late friend Luz, his 2nd roommate after me. #heygirlwithmattandkyle is a show we created on @twitch. Before all this, whenever Kyle & I hadn’t seen each other for a while, we’d always check in with a (deep male voice) “Hey Girl” and catch up. Now, once a week at 5:00 pm PT, we #HeyGirl each other over drinks, #HeyGirl a guest, and then #HeyGirl a viewer or two. So far we’ve had @willsasso, @joshgondelman, @fortunefeimster, @aparnapkin, & @syrupmountain barging into peoples’ homes with us. Every week our live stream raises money for a charity suggested by our guest, with bigger donors getting a direct call from us. Viewers on our chat shoot questions, challenges, and topics to @fakejakebrowne, our producer, who then throws them at us. We never know what’s coming, and we tell a lot of crazy stories. All banked eps are available on our @patreon, which gets some $$ for our producer keeps the show going. Link in bio, so join the #heygirl team today! You don’t need twitch to watch. Just go to holdthephone.tv at 5:00 pm PT on Friday and you’re there. Let me know your thoughts on the show, any questions you have, and who else you’d like us to have on in the comments. #heygirlwithmattandkyle #kylekinane #holdthephonetv #happyhour #checkin #comedy #standupcomedy ...

CBKS crew 4 lyfe dawg. Prepped to crash when the ER isn’t full of these fairweather sickos.
Thanks (@djdelayone)
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This evening! Stop by, have a drink, and girl talk with us! ...

If those goddamn libtards wanna cancel the Renaissance Fair, I’ll have one my damn self. Some fake news global pandemic isn’t gonna stop me from seeing middle-aged tits and turkey legs while I sweat through my best Jethro Tull tshirt. ...

Late night brainstorm over to @methsyndicate and he hits me up first thing in the morning with this. Hell yeah. #Repost @methsyndicate with @get_repost
・・・
Made this for my dude @kylekinane #questfortheworstshirt
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